8th Feb 2016
One of the many good things about living and working in Singapore is the numerous travel opportunities it affords.
This opens up a whole world of new destinations to try, each with their own sights, sounds, smells and tastes and if there are four things in life that like, it's sights, sounds, smells (within reason) and tastes.
Writing a blog documenting my adventures has been something I've pondered doing for quite some time, I've just always been too lazy to actually start doing it which is a shame as I've had the opportunity to go to a lot of places, do a lot of things and eat a hell of a lot of food (and have a waistline to prove it).
What with 2016 being a new year and all and a trip to Hoi An in Vietnam featuring on the calendar early doors it seemed like the opportune moment to start one.
What will it be like? Hopefully informative and entertaining but given my love of food it'll probably just morph into one giant menu albeit one that will provide me with lots of great gastronomic travel memories when I'm old, grey and sitting in a hammock (most likely a rocking chair), sipping on a gin and tonic, hopefully in some far flung land.
Hoi An – January 2016
Day One:
I'm very fortunate to have a group of friends in Singers who love to travel to new places and experience new things. I'm also lucky that two of the group are far more organized than I ever could wish to be and will gladly plan a weekend trip away to the point where all I have to do is pay, turn up at the airport on time and boom, I'm away.
The problem is, sometimes a certain member of the two (for the sake of anonymity, let's call him Saul) forgets about Áine and I (Penang)… but on this occasion (to ensure there was no repeat of Penang) we were included from the off!
(Some people might be put out by this but not me as he's forgotten numerous friends in a similar manner in the past, bless him!)
Changi airport is one of life’s truly great things: everything runs like clockwork, a simply majestic place.
I mean, if Tom Hank’s character in The Terminal had been stuck in Changi he'd have had a lovely old time.
Strangely though, on this occasion, Changi wasn't the ruthlessly efficient machine it usually is and we were perilously close to missing our flight to Da Nang (I'm talking seconds away from the check in counter closing). Fortunately, Paul took charge and we made it by the skin of our teeth.
This trip to Vietnam was a trip of firsts: it was the first time I'd been to Da Nang and Hoi An, and it was the first time I'd done a weekend trip away from Singapore sans alcohol.
In the two months leading up to January 10, a perfect storm of birthdays, stag dos, champagne brunches, leaving parties, Christmas, traveling home, seeing friends, New Year’s Eve, a wedding, a trip to Northern Ireland, and much, much more had resulted in me drinking an amount of booze that even the late, great Oliver Reed might have baulked at so the decision to do a month sober was made.
What a mistake that was!
As I write this I'm still on course to reach the end of the month but I can safely say I shall not be doing a weekend break away without the option of enjoying a cold beer ever again.
It's not like I need a beer, it's just I really like it and find that sampling local brews is all part of the traveling experience.
What's more when a beer costs you less than a bottle of water, drinking one isn't just enjoyable, it's financially beneficial! I'm actually spending more money drinking water and (albeit delicious) fruit shakes and smoothies – I won't be making that mistake again!
So while everyone else was guzzling their cold local brews on the way from the airport to our hotels I was sipping water and trying to pretend that I wasn't jealous of them no their beers.
Fortunately Áine was also doing dry January so that made it bearable – imagine being the only sober person in the group?!
Upon arrival at the highly rated Blue An Bang Villa we were met by Dao, the matriarch of the establishment.
Check in was a strange experience in which she took our passports but then didn't proceed to take us to our rooms until we asked!
We were due to meet up with the rest of the gang who were staying elsewhere but Dao insisted on making us dinner before we left, having just sent her son out for more supplies. How can you turn down a welcome like that? In fact we tried but then felt incredibly guilty after seeing the disappointed look on Dao’s face so we stayed.
One thing about living in Asia is that it's very hard to get good bread and if it is good you usually pay through the nose for it.
Not in Vietnam.
Colonialism has been responsible for countless atrocities over the centuries, it's impossible to escape from that fact, but some good things have come from it and in Vietnam the French influence on bread is a wonderful thing.
Freshly baked, mini-baguettes that are crunchy on the outside and warm on the inside, and they can be found absolutely everywhere in Vietnam.
It was baked delights such as these which Dao produced for us to go along with freshly made omelettes. It's the simple things…
She also insisted on providing us with three jars of strawberry jam; one for each member of the group I suppose…
Another Vietnam delight: fresh spring rolls. Fresh coriander, mint, carrot and bean sprouts served with either minced pork or a prawn, rolled up in rice paper and served with a dipping sauce.
I mention these as they soon followed the omelettes and baguettes once we met up with the rest of the gang before we called it a night at the relatively early hour of midnight; the lack of beer really makes a difference!
Day Two:
The one major upside to not drinking – aside from the obvious health and financial benefits - no hangover! Maybe there's something to this sobriety malarkey after all…
Dao was once again very welcoming when we went down for breakfast and asked us did we want omelette, scrambled egg or fried eggs? We both plumped for scrambled which amusingly was exactly the same as the omelettes we’d had the night before (we suspected the fried eggs might be the same too until we saw someone's order)!
These were of course served with baguettes – what else!
Taking advantage of the free bike hire we braved the cooler-than-we're-used-to temperature (wearing a coat in Southeast Asia is a first for me) and set off for the beach.
Parking our bikes proved amusing as one of the ladies responsible for looking after them and collecting the money was impressed by my height and bulk and repeatedly kept flexing her guns before dropping into a classic karate stance and advancing on me…
She was all of four feet… She also gave Áine a pat on the bum!
By the time we got to the beach the wind had really picked up and was blowing like a fat man running up a flight of stairs (I'm a fine one to talk) which meant the sand was providing us with a complimentary exfoliation of the face. Despite this it was still pleasant to walk along the sand.
Walking back into the gale force winds was less fun…
After that intense exercise (we walked for a maximum 45 minutes) we carried on our journey on the bikes for another couple of hundred metres at which point we saw a spa and decided to stop for a foot massage. This proved very enjoyable and once again, Áine received a pat on the bum for her troubles; it must be a Vietnam thing…
Hoi An old city was our next destination as lunch was calling so we made our way to the highly recommended Morning Glory restaurant.
Southeast Asian cuisine is a particular favourite of mine, with Vietnamese coming second only to the gastronomic wonder that is Thai food.
What we enjoyed at Morning Glory hinted to me that the gap is closing and that I'd like to learn to make Vietnamese food as I have with Thai.
Crispy pancakes, roll-it bbq pork rolls with a spicy peanut sauce, deep fried pork spring rolls, shrimp dumplings and an epic beef and lime salad, all served with a mountain of fresh herbs, tangy dipping sauces and crunchy raw vegetables.
Utterly delicious using the freshest ingredients and largely guilt-free (at least in my mind… Hey, there was a ton of vegetables in that lunch, not to mention a salad)!
The only thing that would have made the meal better would have been an ice cold 333 or Saigon beer but, oh well, next time!
The afternoon was spent wandering the ancient city, soaking up the culture, admiring the architecture and of course some shopping.
Haggling, as much as some dislike it (me included as I don't think I'm particularly good at it and feel guilty), is par for the course in many parts of Southeast Asia and beyond and it’s a game that's to be played between the proprietor and the customer just as Eric Idle’s street market vendor character makes clear in the Life of Brian:
“Bert, this bloke won’t haggle.”
“Won't haggle?!”
“Alright, I'll give you 19 then.”
“No, no, no, come on do it properly, this isn't worth 19.” And so on and so forth.
They know and you know that the price they initially quote to you is negotiable and it's up to you to drive as hard a bargain as you want.
I'm bad at haggling, Áine is terrible at it. She was keen on some hand-dyed silk scarves and the price was VND560,000. I suggested she offer VND300,000 which the lady in the shop politely declined. At this point you walk away and await a counter offer. Áine was having none of it and offered 500,000! Unsurprisingly, this was readily accepted!
I later had more success haggling on a buffalo leather satchel, getting S$40 off the original price.
The shop girl also told me how handsome I was (classic flattery tactic) and that was the second time I'd been told that by two separate people – gotta love Vietnam!
Haggling clearly had made me hungry so I grabbed some bbq pork sticks from a street vendor and then tucked into some banh xoai (mango cake) before a refreshing and warming cup of traditional Vietnamese tea.
The banh xoai were interesting. On first bite they just seemed to be a glutinous dough covered in powdered sugar but then you got to the centre… The centre contained the mango mixed with a peanut sauce and some crunchy sugar; absolutely delicious.
Stuffed, it was time to head back to the hotel to get ready for dinner!
White Marble was another restaurant that had come highly recommended for its impressive wine list as well as its food – good news on the latter in our case given our sans booze ways (it just gives me a very good excuse to come back to Hoi An later in the year).
The food was excellent – we ordered the Vietnamese equivalent of a meze plus some salt and pepper squid both accompanied by the ubiquitous fresh herbs, vegetables and assortment of dipping sauces. Áine put in an excellent shift, ordering two desserts (that's my girl)!
As good as the food was, the highlight was Sam’s entry wearing his brand new, epically stylish jacket that he'd just had tailored. That jacket would have a serious impact on our final day in Hoi An…
Dinner done and dusted we headed to Dive Bar to enjoy some live music – an enjoyable feature of many bars in the region – play a little pool, and watch everyone throw the beers and shots down like they were going out of fashion!
Was I jealous? You bet your arse I was but I would have the last laugh in the morning and the smugness of a man who was hangover free (what a bastard)!
As is often the case when you're sober when everyone else is drinking you can't get into the conversation as easily because you're operating on a different wavelength so Áine and o played a couple of games of pool. This turned out to be a mistake as I lost both games…
We were also missing that drunken energy that alcohol gives you so we decided to call it a night early doors.
Day 3:
Dao was her usual high-energy, all action self at breakfast, doing everything she could to fatten us like cattle ready for slaughter. We went for fried eggs this time and lo and behold, they were fried eggs and not an omelette!
Having eaten and eaten well we set off to walk to the nearest spa for a massage. Dao told us it was “only 80m away” but this just led us to the conclusion that she isn't very good at estimates!
We eventually returned to the place we'd been previously and had a Vietnamese massage each – bliss.
Heading into town we bumped in to Paul who very excitedly told me that he and Webs had been to get measured up for jackets similar to Sam’s and that they would be ready to collect by 5pm. Was I in? Damn right I was! Not only was I keen but Áine was too!
I will stress at this point that they definitely were not matching jackets!
Lunch was again taken at Morning Glory and I had one of their specialties – grilled squid stuffed with pork in a tamarind-based sauce. It could have done with a bit more lime juice but otherwise it was great.
The rest of the afternoon was whiled away doing bits and bobs (eating more mango cakes) before we picked up our jackets and boy were they glorious; we shall be stunningly attired for our next Man Weekend!
With our jackets being worn with immense pride it was time to head back to Singapore. Needless to say we attracted more than a couple of admiring glances and compliments along the way, a fitting conclusion to a fantastic weekend away.